Why Relationship Patterns Are Data No One Is Collecting
By Momar Lissa Ndiaye ("MLN"), Founder & CEO, weyoga Inc.
Every disagreement, every reconciliation, every moment one person pulls away and the other leans in — or doesn't — is a data point about how this specific relationship actually functions. Multiply that by years together and a long relationship has produced an enormous, detailed dataset about its own recurring structure. Almost none of it is ever reviewed as data.
This is unusual, compared to how seriously data gets treated almost everywhere else. A single failed product launch gets a retrospective. A repeated pattern across five years of a relationship gets, at best, a vague sense that "we always do this," rarely followed by any structured look at when, how often, or under what specific conditions "this" actually occurs.
The reason isn't that the data doesn't exist. It's that no one is positioned to collect it in the moment — both people are inside the pattern while it's happening, which is precisely the wrong vantage point for noticing its shape. Data requires someone outside the loop, watching across time, which is a role neither partner can occupy for their own relationship in real time.
Treating a relationship's history as data rather than as a vague set of memories changes what's actually recoverable from it. The evidence has been there all along. What's been missing is anything positioned to actually collect it.
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Momar Lissa Ndiaye ("MLN") is the Founder & CEO of weyoga Inc., a Delaware company. — weyoga.ai · mln@weyoga.ai