You Don't Randomly End Up In the Same Situation Twice. Something About How You Choose Situations Is Doing the Selecting.
Ending up in a structurally similar situation — the same type of relationship, the same type of workplace dynamic, the same type of conflict — more than once tends to get attributed to circumstance or coincidence, as though the world simply keeps generating the same setup independently of any choices being made along the way.
This attribution rarely survives close examination. Most situations a person repeatedly lands in involved real choices at multiple points along the way — who to spend time with, what to say yes to, what warning signs to weigh or dismiss — and those choices, examined across instances, usually reveal a consistent selection rule doing quiet, unacknowledged work.
The rule isn't necessarily conscious or deliberate; it can operate as a preference, a comfort with certain dynamics, or an attraction to certain kinds of people or situations that feels like taste rather than pattern. But its consistency across supposedly unrelated instances is exactly what distinguishes a selection process from actual random chance.
Repeatedly ending up in the same situation isn't something happening to a person from outside. It's something a person's own selection process is doing, consistently, usually without ever having been named — and naming it is what turns an apparent run of bad luck into an actual, addressable mechanism.
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Momar Lissa Ndiaye ("MLN") is the Founder & CEO of weyoga Inc., a Delaware company. — weyoga.ai · mln@weyoga.ai