I Thought I Had Bad Luck with Love
Every serious relationship I'd had ended the same disorienting way: things seemed fine, and then, seemingly out of nowhere, they weren't, and the other person had usually seen it coming long before I had. I decided somewhere along the way that I just had bad luck — I kept picking people who weren't being honest with me. What Bad Luck Conveniently Explained Away It let the collapses feel like something that happened to me rather than something I was, in some quiet way, participating in — a story where the timing was always someone else's, and my only role was showing up and getting blindsided again. What I Never Looked At Directly I never asked why I was consistently the last to know. Other people in these relationships apparently saw the ending coming from a distance. I didn't, every time, which is a strange kind of consistency for something I was calling bad luck. What That Consistency Actually Pointed To It pointed to a pattern of not noticing, or not letting myself notice, the early signals that something was shifting — small withdrawals, small changes in tone — because noticing them would have required doing something about them sooner than I was ready to. The blindsiding wasn't luck. It was avoidance, running on schedule, every time. What Changed Once I Saw This Instead of asking why this kept happening to me, I started asking what I'd actually have to feel, and do something about, if I let myself notice the early signals next time — a much less comfortable question, and the first one that actually explained the pattern instead of just narrating it.
Meet Ori — built to help you notice the early signals you might be avoiding, since being blindsided is rarely just bad luck.
Part of The Recognition Library →
Momar Lissa Ndiaye ("MLN") is the Founder & CEO of weyoga Inc., a Delaware company. — weyoga.ai · mln@weyoga.ai
This is an illustrative composite, not a real member account.