I Used to Think I Was Unlucky in Love. I Wasn't.
For years I told the story the way it felt: I just kept meeting the wrong people. Bad timing, bad luck, a string of relationships that started with real promise and ended in some version of the same disappointment, none of it my doing — just the odds finally catching up with someone who'd been unlucky enough times in a row. What the Story Conveniently Left Out It left out the part where I was the common denominator in every single one of those relationships, choosing, each time, from a very narrow and very specific range of people who all triggered the same eventual outcome. Luck doesn't have a type. I did. Why "Bad Luck" Felt Safer Than the Alternative Blaming luck cost nothing — it asked nothing of me, required no examination of what I was actually drawn to or why. The alternative explanation, that I was participating in producing the same result over and over, was much less comfortable and, once I actually looked, much more accurate. What Finally Made the Pattern Visible A friend, not unkindly, once listed the last four people I'd dated back to back, out loud, and asked what they had in common. I'd never done that. Laid out side by side like that, the pattern wasn't subtle at all — it had just never been examined as a pattern before, only as four separate stories of bad luck. What Changed Once I Saw It The question stopped being "why do I keep having bad luck" and became "what, specifically, do I keep being drawn to, and what does that draw actually protect me from." That was a much harder question, and it was the first one that actually went anywhere.
Meet Ori — built to help you see the pattern across your own choices, since luck was never really the explanation.
Part of The Recognition Library →
Momar Lissa Ndiaye ("MLN") is the Founder & CEO of weyoga Inc., a Delaware company. — weyoga.ai · mln@weyoga.ai
This is an illustrative composite, not a real member account.