The Day I Stopped Asking "Why Me?" and Started Asking "What Pattern?"
For years, every setback got processed through the same question: why does this keep happening to me. It felt like the natural response to repeated disappointment, and it also never once produced an answer that changed anything, because "why me" doesn't actually point anywhere useful — it's a question aimed at fate, not at mechanism. What "Why Me" Actually Did For Me Practically speaking, nothing. It generated a lot of felt distress and zero actionable information, because there was never going to be a satisfying answer to why the universe, in general, kept dealing me a particular hand — that's not a question with a mechanism attached to it. The Moment the Question Actually Changed It happened almost by accident, mid-complaint to a friend, when instead of finishing "why does this keep happening to me" I found myself asking, out loud, "wait, what's actually the same about all of these." That was a completely different question, and it had an actual answer. What Answering the New Question Actually Required Going back through several instances of the same kind of setback and comparing them directly, looking for what repeated — not the bad luck, but the specific sequence of choices and responses that showed up every time, which "why me" had never once asked me to look for. Why This Small Shift in Wording Mattered So Much "Why me" keeps the problem external and unanswerable. "What pattern" makes the problem internal and traceable — uncomfortable in a different way, but for the first time actually workable.
Meet Ori — built to help you ask the question that actually has an answer, instead of the one that just generates distress.
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Momar Lissa Ndiaye ("MLN") is the Founder & CEO of weyoga Inc., a Delaware company. — weyoga.ai · mln@weyoga.ai
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